I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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