dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
