He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
