Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
