it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
