thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
