everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
