So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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