Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
