So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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