You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We need to get me chipped asap
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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