My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
