HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
