i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
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