Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
