i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
