I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Alive.
So much puke
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
