Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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