I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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