Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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