Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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