the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
