Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
