I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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