youre lurking in front of me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We're too hungover to prance.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
