me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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