you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
