They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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