Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
