She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
