there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
