i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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