I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
