we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
