How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
