You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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