I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
