guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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