i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
