dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
