It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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