is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
