I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
