i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
