im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
