We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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