First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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