It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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