So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
