youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Houston, we have a blender
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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