I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
